In Spain it is tradition to buy your friends dinner on your birthday. I am not Spanish but sometimes I wish I were. In my family my mom would make sure she had a present for the child whose birthday it was not. So on January 27th my brother would blow out the candles and unwrap a mountain of gifts: one year a new Redliner bike, Atari, an adidas tracksuit another year, a Gumby doll. And then my mom would hand me my present: Pokey. My brother would be in his room playing asteroids and making the sound effects himself, beeoouuuuup, beeouppp, beeeouuuuup! Rocking the three nylon stripes and I’d be sitting there on the floor bending the legs of the little orange horse that nobody ever wanted.
Tomorrow I turn 36. Upper mid-thirties. This morning I noticed that the face lotion I use is called ACCEPT. What marketing genius thought of that brand positioning? Because oh honey, I just don’t think so. So here is your Pokey, an unbirthday giveaway. Tell me why I am not old and I will send you a real fossil. Seriously.
Hands off the nipple clamp, ma petite, you don't get the s&m.
This is an ammonite, 350 million years old, from the Devonian era, I believe. Ammonites are thought to have lived in the open water of ancient seas; this particular specimen was found in Morocco. It measures roughly 6.5” in diameter, looks stunning on a mantle and likes long walks on the beach. Plus, just by having it you will look smarter.
One year ago today I started this blog, a birthday present to myself. (You would be able to read that first post if I hadn’t deleted my own blog a few months ago, but that’s another story altogether…) I started this blog with a Langston Hughes poem:
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore--And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
And here I am a year later, my dream still not yet realized but not entirely deferred anymore either. This blog has given me more than I ever thought it would: an outlet, an inspiration, a friend. You have all given me that. And so I offer this present as a way of saying thank you. Thank you for listening, for reading, for everything. Thank you for my blog. Thank you for keeping me from exploding.
Please leave me a comment (not an email! A comment in the comments section of this post) telling me why 36 years does not a fossil make. The comment that makes me laugh the hardest or convinces me that I am still 25 wins the ammonite. I will read all comments after 5pm on Monday night and will announce the winner on Tuesday. Please check back on Tuesday and if you’re the winner email me and give me your address and I’ll send you this unbirthday present. From me to you. Not a Pokey but a fossil. Don’t try to bend its legs. It doesn’t have any.
Again, thank you all. Happy Birthday, Happy UnBirthday. Just Happy.