I Fully Intended For This To Be My Hand

But it's not. And I don't even remember where I found the image. Still--let's pretend this is my hand and these bloody fingers are typing this post which would also require us to also pretend that I did not watch Soul Surfer with Zoey last night (when I had planned to paint my nails) and then spent hours convincing her that sharks do not bite the arms off of people (even though they totally do) and then trying not to laugh as she spent the remainder of the evening pretending she had just one arm and answering only to Bethany. Spoiler alert: Zoey/Bethany slept with mommy and daddy last night.

While we're at it, let's also pretend that was not a terrible run-on sentence.

Bitch, I don't know your life, but there's a chance you still have time to pull off this bloody manicure, so get to it.

Boo,

Susannah